3 Easy Steps to Get Rid of Negative Self-Talk
Posted by: jhersey in Motivation, tags: build confidence, leadership speaker, mental attitude, motivational speaker, negative thinking, negative thoughts, positive attitude, positive thinking, self confidence, self talkAs we all know, not only crazy people talk to themselves. We all spend the whole day talking to ourselves, even if we don’t realize it. Self-talk is like having a radio in our heads. We hear it wherever we are, and more often than desired, this voice is a non-stop reminder of how unlucky, bad, or silly we are. This character in our heads is an expert in getting us down through pessimism and criticism.
This voice can make us feel worthless and can leave us without control over our lives. It can convince you to not go for that one chance with that girl or boy, not to apply for your dream job, or not bother to make that positive change your life needs so much. Our inner critic feeds on the fear and the doubt it produces in us, but it is up to us to let it take control. We can easily control the radio in our heads to play the stations that work for us instead of against us.
There is a way to change the station to a more positive one every time the negative tries to take control. Follow these 3 simple steps, and turn the voice in your head into your biggest admirer:
1. First, be aware of that negative voice talking to you and what it is saying. Observe the self-talk inside your head, truly listen to it; commonly we don’t pay attention to our thoughts, they just come and go automatically, and equally control our lives. You must gain awareness of what that voice is saying. Is it saying the same thing over and over again? How is it making you feel? Most of us don’t focus consciously on what our inner voice is saying; we simply accept its judgment as the truth, and this is where many of us get stuck, sometimes for our whole lives. Negative self-talk is, in most cases, only trying to deceive us with feelings of fear and doubt. What it says is not true. Learn to recognize who truly is in control of your life.
2. Second, assess your inner voice. Learn to recognize the forms it takes: maybe it gets nervous, mad, or frightened? Maybe there is a hint of a positive voice trying to gain strength over the negative one; if there is, you should be proud. Try to focus and listen to that background positive chat more and more every time you hear it. With practice, you will eventually hear it all the time. The most important thing is that you are aware that your inner critic is just a habit of your mind and that you can easily change the station to listen to a different tune, one that makes you feel good, energized, and proud about yourself and your life.
3. Now, after consciously recognizing, listening, and evaluating your inner critic, you can start replacing negative talk with positive one. Give the good talk space to speak, and encourage it through positive affirmations, until you feel the change inside yourself. Affirmations are very powerful; these energize you and prompt you to act positively. If you feel resistance, try this: As soon as you identify the negative talk nagging you with something like “I can’t do anything right”, instantly change that into a positive affirmation, like “Everything I do turns out right”. This is a very powerful exercise because it allows you to assess how each statement makes you feel, and you will want to continue giving yourself bigger doses of positive talk every time.
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Great blog posting on Self-Talk. I too have found that many people simply accept their Self-Talk as true or valid, without ever questioning “where” it is coming from. It is so liberating to be able to recognize it for what it is, and then decide whether to accept it or not. And we certainly can change it. For over a decade now, I have been improving my Self-Talk by recording Affirmations over music, that I can listen to while driving and sitting at my desk. That way, I can make maximum use out of the time that I would otherwise be listening to less constructive things (like radio commercial telling me I need their product in order to be happy). Through repetition, I have noticed that whatever affirmations I have recorded, end up popping up in my head throughout the day. It is really empowering to take proactive measures to control our Self-Talk. I really appreciate how you are illustrating how to take control of what we say to ourselves.
I like your radio-in-the-head metaphor. You CAN just tune it to whatever works for you, and avoid the negative stations!
I want to let you know that I have really enjoyed reading your blog. I stumbled across it a couple hours ago. I will drop in regularly and see what is happening.