John Hersey Leadership Blog

Until not so long ago, James Brandon always had an excuse to skip classes.  We all know he is not the only one; skipping classes is a habit the majority of students have, although it is not a very healthy one.  However, in James’ case, he discovered something shocking the last time he did it.

This is what happened:  the professor had given the class an assignment they were supposed to deliver the next day, but James had just received the latest video game in the mail, and he was so excited about telling his friends that he already mastered “The Death Raiders” that he spent the whole day playing it and neglected the paper.  The next day, he continued playing. The thought ‘class paper’ never crossed his mind, even though this particular professor was the one he admired the most. He loved the way he taught class and considered the work he assigned the most valuable for his career until now.

Once the excitement for the game started diminishing, about two hours before class and as James started thinking about what he had done, how he had neglected his work and how he was going to face his ‘hero’, his conscience started punishing him.  The feeling of not having done the assignment started to swallow him like a whale swallows schools of fish; if you are not the fastest swimmer, you won’t escape.  And that’s exactly what happened to James; he was eaten by the shame of letting his favorite professor down, he was blinded with shame and couldn’t find a way out, so, he skipped class.

However, once he decided not to go to class, and for the rest of the week, his shame for doing so was greater than the one he felt for not doing the paper, and this is when it hit him:  if shame is so powerful as to make him do things he later regrets so strongly, maybe if he could channel this force appropriately. He could reach his biggest potential.  Perhaps shame could make him work on the things he had been putting off; perhaps it could motivate him.

James decided he would never miss a class again, and ever since, he has been working on determining what things make him feel a lot of shame and how to get the best out of them.

Shame is an external motivator; it depends on what others think of you, and it makes you run from what you see as shameful.  If James hadn’t been so fond of his professor and his opinion was not so important to him, he wouldn’t have minded going to class without the paper.

Thus, ask yourself, what types of people and events produce shame?  Is shame so powerful as to use it to motivate?  Is it correct to shame others in order to make them react positively?

One thing is certain; shame can be a very strong self-motivator.  Just as it did for James, it can turn your life around, set your priorities straight, and honor your existence and those around you, turning you into the better version of yourself.

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There is nothing better than feeling completely energized and empowered to follow your dreams no matter what.  This is what a motivational coach does for you. He teaches you tricks and new ways of seeing your reality that put you in control and give you the tools to move forward in spite of anything.

Any one of us would wish we were able to have such a person right at home with us every single day.  Imagine that you just wake up every morning and start listening to all this valuable advice and are reminded constantly of your power and capacity. How great, huh?  Sadly, in most cases, that is not possible.  The majority of us receive coaching for a few days, and afterwards, we are left alone with what we learned to apply it wisely and change our lives, or save it for later inside a desk drawer.

The truth is that it is not easy to stay motivated after the coach is gone.  Amazingly, the thing that stops people the most after learning how powerful and capable they are, is actually knowing it.  Many people feel overwhelmed once they become aware of all the potential they have.  These persons have to stop right there and think about all they deserve; it was a huge step to allow yourself to be coached on how to motivate yourself, and now you have to stop thinking about all the hard work this coaching meant so as to feel in control of your life again.

Remember that you are a big and creative thinker with amazing goals and expectations, and you are allowed to be afraid of the unknown; just don’t let this fear own you.  Motivation is not about not being afraid, it is about acting in spite of fear, because above all, you know you can do it if you just give it a try.  You know you have all that is needed to succeed, if you don’t go for it, you will never know how it feels to be powerful, you will never grow, and you will let many worthy opportunities pass you by.

If you need more than a little boost to stay motivated, take some time to organize and work on your coaching sessions’ notes.  Write down the important points and comments your coach has mentioned.  Work it out like a reference book or pamphlet you can check regularly for inspiration, because the key to making a new behavior stick is repetition. The more you hear it and say it to yourself, the more you will begin to make it a part of your reality, until finally it becomes a part of you.

It is a good idea to talk to the speaker about your feelings and concerns when the end of your coaching event approaches. As he has done with the rest, the speaker can give you tips on how to tackle those fears as soon as they appear and how to move through them.

You can also talk to someone you trust and ask him or her to be your accountability partner.  He or she will become a non-judgmental supporter during your ‘weak’ times, someone you can go to every time you feel you want to quit.  This person will listen with an open heart and mind.

Staying motivated puts you in control of your life, so it is important that you know yourself very well to acknowledge where you need help in order to find it.  The motivational coach will open your eyes to the possibilities, but only you can act on them; only you have the ability and power to be your best self.

The motivational speaker has shared with you an amazing secret: that you can do anything you dream of; it’s just a matter of dedication and commitment.

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