John Hersey Leadership Blog

Failure is often the result of little persistence.  Strong health, permanent happiness, substantial wealth, effective teamwork, or wild success, are not easy goals to achieve, even when you avidly devour hundreds of books on these topics.  The majority of sudden success stories have years of history of trials and errors behind them, and almost all natural talent has long hours of disciplined work supporting it, in fact, this is why it looks so natural.

The secret to success is to learn its systems, habits, and principles, the ones that are acquired through discipline and endless persistence.  As the saying goes, ‘Practice makes the master’.

It is a common mistake to think that successful people were born brain privileged.  The conclusion that many arrive to is that they were born from parents with superior genes, thus they were born with great talent, high intelligence, and natural gifts.  However, we know there are people who are extremely talented, almost geniuses, but never developed their capabilities or made something worthy with them; you may even know some individuals like this yourself.  Some people simply give up at the doors of success, and they repeat the same story over and over again only to get discouraged every time they are about to reach their dreams.

Several studies have shown that Nobel Prize winners have an average intelligence, as well as superior levels of tenacity and persistence.  These leaders hang in there while their colleagues move on to pursue more promising research routes.  They are live proof of this unequivocal truth: No one is a loser until he quits trying.

It is not easy to stick to your beliefs and efforts in the face of a long and bumpy journey; the secret is to break your big task into smaller and manageable ones, helping you stay focused and active until you reach a new milestone.

It is like Thomas Edison said after his factory and all his life work were eaten by fire on December 1914, “There is great value in disaster.  All our mistakes are burned up.  Thank God we can start anew.”  Less than a month later, Edison presented the first phonograph.

So, no, don’t take this article’s title literally, don’t pray for disaster in your life; this would just be a sign of ungratefulness. The goal was to grab your attention intensely to be able to communicate such an important message, however, consciously and regularly ask for opportunities to test your faith in yourself and in your persistence, because this is when you will really discover what you are capable of, it will make you grow, it will make you a leader, and a part of history.

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“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element.  It is my personal approach that creates the climate.  It is my daily mood that makes the weather.  I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.  I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.  In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person humanized or de-humanized.  If we treat people as they are, we make them worse.  If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

Personal responsibility over one’s life is not a new concept, however it is much easier to blame others, or fate, for a failed marriage, an unsteady job history, or financial bankruptcy, than to accept that our personal choices have led us down the path of utter failure.  In fact, blaming external situations for our personal catastrophes has become so popular that we only need to turn on the TV to find endless examples of this disheartening behavior.

Nevertheless, there is a select group of people that rejects to be a part of this crowd.  The happiest and most successful people on earth, the people who get things done and make history out of their lives, true leaders, know that life is about personal choices.  These individuals take responsibility for their choices and the resulting consequences. They choose to control their destiny instead of letting fate or other people tell them where, how, and why they are headed in a certain direction.

True leaders know there is a choice behind every circumstance, even when they are not directly responsible. They accept responsibility for their actions or the lack thereof.

If you want to become a leader, the first step is within you.  You have to accept control and choose power over these:

1.    To win- Leaders are identified because they choose to focus on the possibilities rather than on the problems.  When faced with obstacles and failure, a real leader will overcome them and learn from them, turning them into opportunities.  Only these individuals will be truly successful.

2.    The perceived reality- Most facts in life are highly subjective and dependent on how a person perceives them.  The world is seen by each individual as he or she is, not as the world is. This is why it is very common to get trapped inside our own reality groove and unable to see the possibilities beyond.

3.    Personal outlook- The optimist always expects the best to happen and gets the positive out of every situation, while the pessimist lives on the negative side and always imagines the worse that could happen.  Even though we were raised into one or another, it is up to us to decide how we want to see our circumstances and the world today.

4.    Let go of harmful emotions- Leaders know they are responsible for their emotions.  It hurts less to think that others are to blame for our anger, resentment, or jealousy; however, this makes us prisoners of our emotions.  Humans tend to dwell on negative feelings, thus, for our own health and happiness, we have to learn to let go.  For our own sake, we have to learn to forgive and forget.

5.    Thoughts- We are what we think.  Thoughts become things.  By choosing our thoughts consciously we are directly affecting our reality.  Thoughts become actions, actions become habits, habits shape our character, our character dictates our circumstances, and our circumstances define our future.

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We hear it all the time; so many people so sure about their intention of focusing on what they truly want.  They are so certain, their attitudes are so positive, and yet, nothing seems to happen.  “I have done it all, BUT everything is the same”, Stephen says.  He is fast to point out that he hasn’t moved a bit in the direction of his dreams.

We must remember that our language is directly linked to our thoughts; thus, we have to pay attention to what we say and how we say it in order to understand a great deal about our way of thinking.  Right there, where Stephen said ‘BUT’, is the key.

One has to make it a conscious habit to catch one’s words.  This could easily be the only opportunity you have to actually catch your true thoughts, because the only reason you could catch yourself is because you are going to say it out loud, otherwise, it would just stay back there, in your subconscious.  The subconscious is happy to grab everything you pay some attention to, whether it is valuable or not, thus, in order to refine its choices, you could refine your language.

In our vocabulary there are millions of words, however, we use a small amount of those millions regularly.  The amount of words we use depends directly on our upbringing and education, and one thing is certain: no matter how we were raised or what kind of education we have received, in order to be successful in life we have to be conscious of the words we speak and learn to differentiate what words are meaningful and which ones are pure junk.

No matter where we come from, there are certain words everyone should eliminate from their vocabulary if they want to make their life big, and want to make it big in life.  These words are:

-    But
-    Don’t
-    No
-    Never
-    Can’t
-    Should
-    Try
-    Might
-    Want
-    Hope

All the words above express some kind of doubt, incapability, negativity, unwillingness, and lack of control.  Let’s take ‘hope’ for example; ‘hope’ is a major success among people.  People love what ‘hope’ stands for; nevertheless, this word is normally used to express desperation, more than real hope.

If you think this is trivial, think again.  Remember, our words are tightly linked to our thoughts; whatever you say is deeply entrenched in your mind, so, when you consciously keep out of your vocabulary certain words, you are making yourself think in a more positive way.  As everything, changing your vocabulary needs training, and it may seem difficult at first, however, if you learn some new great words to substitute the less positive ones, it may make it easier to switch:

-    Yes
-    And
-    More
-    Chose
-    Intent
-    Plan
-    Can
-    Will
-    Trust
-    Allow

Start using these words more in your daily conversations and you will experience MAGIC, there you go! Another great word!

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Many successful writers have talked about incredible ways to prioritize our tasks, organize our days, and get the best out of our time by focusing on what is truly important for our success in life.

All this makes a lot of sense and even sounds wise.  Many of us try to apply it to our lives in an attempt to become better human beings and professionals; however, there is one little, or maybe not so little, thing called procrastination.

An important part of the active population of the world suffers from procrastination, a condition that makes us ignore behaviors and actions that could enhance our lives and change them for the better.  In order to get over this condition, one must find its root, which in many cases seems to be fear.  Some studies have established that there are three aspects that influence procrastination:

-    Confidence in oneself, an issue guided by fear
-    The need for immediate fulfillment, due to early programming
-    Impulsiveness, trait of immature behaviors designed to meet early needs

Basically, it is different for each person; it depends on his or her upbringing and how he or she has developed ways to fulfill his or her basic human needs.

As a child, Susan commonly felt she had no power over her controlling father; thus, she procrastinated to feel in control and to feel free.  Eventually, Susan learned a different and positive way to feel powerful, but this was only possible after she identified where the problem was.

Roger is a senior executive at a marketing firm.  At one point he was so overwhelmed by work that when his boss asked him to handle a new assignment he became extremely anxious.  He was so scared of not being able to do it right that he just avoided the project. He procrastinated.

People mistakenly confuse procrastination with laziness; however, laziness does not encompass a dose of guilt, while procrastination makes the person feel extremely guilty, and he or she punishes him or herself.  It eventually becomes a vicious cycle, because the more the person punishes himself or herself, the more they procrastinate, and the more they procrastinate, the more they punish themselves, leading to a complete self-esteem crisis.

The good news is that there is a way out of this negative behavior, and here we show you 4 steps to get you there:

1.    You have to recognize that procrastination is not something you ‘caught’ yesterday.  You have to be willing to go deep into your life to find the root, and a good way to start is to try to identify when it started affecting you.

2.    You have to allow yourself to act in spite of the emotion.  You can have negative feelings, everyone does, but the difference lies in whether you let those feelings rule your behavior or not.  We shouldn’t let emotions guide our actions, but we commonly do, especially when there is fear or guilt involved.

3.    You can start small.  Think of what you could do, a small task, that would get you started and out of procrastinating.  It can be the smallest thing.  Let’s say you have been neglecting cleaning the attic.  You can start by making a list of everything you remember is in storage there, next, think of what you would like to do with some of the stuff; maybe you would like to give some furniture pieces to your daughter, or donate a box of books to your community’s elderly home.

4.    You have to be aware of distractions.  These can control you if you don’t control them.  Honestly think about what distracts you from acting on your goals. It could be something like checking your inbox, soap opera time, or playing solitaire to ‘relax’, only you know what excuses you make up.

Each small step you take will make you feel stronger and better, and if you can imagine how good it will feel to get there, you can certainly get motivated to complete the task.

Maybe the most important thing is to learn to forgive ourselves.  We are human beings, and when we have to overcome a condition such as procrastination we have to understand that it takes time to heal and that we deserve to be kind to ourselves.

Now you are ready to start your journey; do not waste another second! Get going and start living!

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Many of us should put a little thought into what it is that we want to achieve by proving that we are right and, thus, that others are plainly wrong.  Most of the times what happens is that we win a quarrel but lose an acquaintance, even a friend.  We seriously should stop to ask ourselves why is it that we deviate so much from our goals when we feel challenged or afraid.

Every intelligent professional knows that when we deal with people, be it to provide a service for a client, negotiate a contract, or motivate an employee, if we make them feel worthy they will care a lot for what we have to say; however, as soon as they utter a word in the wrong direction, it is very difficult for us to stop ourselves from letting them know how wrong they are, with the inevitable consequence: our power to inspire is gone, and we are just left with a discussion between our hands.

This is possibly the most common way to boycott ourselves, as human beings, and our businesses.  Maybe we are just being human; maybe it is in our nature to be foolish, so, how do we move beyond needing to be right to the point where we truly show we care for others and our business?

There are studies that have tested thousands of communicators and identified a common practice among the most successful ones. These people work to not make others be wrong.  And, how exactly do they do it?

These successful communicators lowered their expectations of the others’ behaviors before meeting with them.  As it turns out, this lowered the chance of making a big deal out of what was said during the climax of the conversation.  These communicators consciously decided to arrive to a meeting not to make the person be wrong but to focus on the areas where he or she was knowledgeable and had a good point.  Eventually, when the time came and these people showed less than perfect understanding, the communicators were able to react calmly and get the best out of the situation.

This may not sound ‘business professional’ to some, until you stop to think that it is much better than the alternative: putting yourself into a communication fight to prove who is the cleverest, most intelligent, and wisest person in the room.  You can be right, but you most definitely don’t need to make others be wrong to prove it.

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