Many successful writers have talked about incredible ways to prioritize our tasks, organize our days, and get the best out of our time by focusing on what is truly important for our success in life.
All this makes a lot of sense and even sounds wise. Many of us try to apply it to our lives in an attempt to become better human beings and professionals; however, there is one little, or maybe not so little, thing called procrastination.
An important part of the active population of the world suffers from procrastination, a condition that makes us ignore behaviors and actions that could enhance our lives and change them for the better. In order to get over this condition, one must find its root, which in many cases seems to be fear. Some studies have established that there are three aspects that influence procrastination:
-Â Â Â Confidence in oneself, an issue guided by fear
-Â Â Â The need for immediate fulfillment, due to early programming
-Â Â Â Impulsiveness, trait of immature behaviors designed to meet early needs
Basically, it is different for each person; it depends on his or her upbringing and how he or she has developed ways to fulfill his or her basic human needs.
As a child, Susan commonly felt she had no power over her controlling father; thus, she procrastinated to feel in control and to feel free. Eventually, Susan learned a different and positive way to feel powerful, but this was only possible after she identified where the problem was.
Roger is a senior executive at a marketing firm. At one point he was so overwhelmed by work that when his boss asked him to handle a new assignment he became extremely anxious. He was so scared of not being able to do it right that he just avoided the project. He procrastinated.
People mistakenly confuse procrastination with laziness; however, laziness does not encompass a dose of guilt, while procrastination makes the person feel extremely guilty, and he or she punishes him or herself. It eventually becomes a vicious cycle, because the more the person punishes himself or herself, the more they procrastinate, and the more they procrastinate, the more they punish themselves, leading to a complete self-esteem crisis.
The good news is that there is a way out of this negative behavior, and here we show you 4 steps to get you there:
1.   You have to recognize that procrastination is not something you ‘caught’ yesterday. You have to be willing to go deep into your life to find the root, and a good way to start is to try to identify when it started affecting you.
2.   You have to allow yourself to act in spite of the emotion. You can have negative feelings, everyone does, but the difference lies in whether you let those feelings rule your behavior or not. We shouldn’t let emotions guide our actions, but we commonly do, especially when there is fear or guilt involved.
3.   You can start small. Think of what you could do, a small task, that would get you started and out of procrastinating. It can be the smallest thing. Let’s say you have been neglecting cleaning the attic. You can start by making a list of everything you remember is in storage there, next, think of what you would like to do with some of the stuff; maybe you would like to give some furniture pieces to your daughter, or donate a box of books to your community’s elderly home.
4.   You have to be aware of distractions. These can control you if you don’t control them. Honestly think about what distracts you from acting on your goals. It could be something like checking your inbox, soap opera time, or playing solitaire to ‘relax’, only you know what excuses you make up.
Each small step you take will make you feel stronger and better, and if you can imagine how good it will feel to get there, you can certainly get motivated to complete the task.
Maybe the most important thing is to learn to forgive ourselves. We are human beings, and when we have to overcome a condition such as procrastination we have to understand that it takes time to heal and that we deserve to be kind to ourselves.
Now you are ready to start your journey; do not waste another second! Get going and start living!
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Many of us should put a little thought into what it is that we want to achieve by proving that we are right and, thus, that others are plainly wrong. Most of the times what happens is that we win a quarrel but lose an acquaintance, even a friend. We seriously should stop to ask ourselves why is it that we deviate so much from our goals when we feel challenged or afraid.
Every intelligent professional knows that when we deal with people, be it to provide a service for a client, negotiate a contract, or motivate an employee, if we make them feel worthy they will care a lot for what we have to say; however, as soon as they utter a word in the wrong direction, it is very difficult for us to stop ourselves from letting them know how wrong they are, with the inevitable consequence: our power to inspire is gone, and we are just left with a discussion between our hands.
This is possibly the most common way to boycott ourselves, as human beings, and our businesses. Maybe we are just being human; maybe it is in our nature to be foolish, so, how do we move beyond needing to be right to the point where we truly show we care for others and our business?
There are studies that have tested thousands of communicators and identified a common practice among the most successful ones. These people work to not make others be wrong. And, how exactly do they do it?
These successful communicators lowered their expectations of the others’ behaviors before meeting with them. As it turns out, this lowered the chance of making a big deal out of what was said during the climax of the conversation. These communicators consciously decided to arrive to a meeting not to make the person be wrong but to focus on the areas where he or she was knowledgeable and had a good point. Eventually, when the time came and these people showed less than perfect understanding, the communicators were able to react calmly and get the best out of the situation.
This may not sound ‘business professional’ to some, until you stop to think that it is much better than the alternative: putting yourself into a communication fight to prove who is the cleverest, most intelligent, and wisest person in the room. You can be right, but you most definitely don’t need to make others be wrong to prove it.
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Leaders are just as inclined to be resistant in certain areas and issues as anyone else. The difference is Contagious Leaders work through their resistance.
We can work through our resistance by:
acknowledging the resistance in the first place
calling it what it is, resistance to something we should be doing or working on
stop avoiding it and work in the resistance, nothing else, just the resistance we are experiencing
share our resistance with others
journal about it, meditate on it or otherwise do whatever we have to do to begin calling it out
change the story we have about that which we are resistant to. How do we do that? Simple, create a new one with a happier ending.
Working harder and longer and demanding more of our people is not always effective leadership. Sometimes Contagious Leaders know to practice doing less to achieve more.
The “Why We Can’t ” Conversation is all around us. We must create a supportive environment to exercise the “How We Will” muscle.
“Why We Can’t” is an attitude that exists in every profession, every organization. Our job as Contagious Leaders is to make ourselves so fit that it does not get through to reduce the effectiveness of our organization. We must stay in the “How We Will” conversation all the time by surrounding ourselves with “How We Will” thinkers, doers, believers. Otherwise, our “How We Will” muscle atrophies, we become weak and we revert to the “Why We Can’t” conversation.
The good news is that with some time the “Why We Can’t” conversation just doesn’t stop by anymore. Defeated and deflated it just goes away leaving us and our teams to achieve greatness.
Sometimes even the best contagious leaders find themselves waiting for inspiration even though we know that the best tactic is to just get on with getting it done. Read what our friend and mentor Steve Chandler says about waiting for inspiration– go to http://tinyurl.com/yf2bzg5
During the past couple of years I have become more serious than usual (and I tend to have a serious nature). In April of this year my life and business had gotten so serious that I decided, much to Beverly’s relief, that it was time to make some changes. Since then I have been on a mission to learn to have fun again. Not only has it made me a better person (at least more tolerable to be around), but it has made me a better leader as well. I have discovered that really great leaders are broad thinkers, not narrow minded. Great thinkers have diverse interests. And, really great leaders enjoy leading.
John and Bev dancing at EuroRhythm
In my pursuit to learn to have fun again I have engaged in as many wonderful and new experiences as possible. We’ll share some of them with you from time to time. Beverly and I have taken up ballroom dancing (this is amazing fun,; check out EuroRythm Studios) and photography while expanding our interests in learning about wine, cooking, travel and Opera.
This weekend we engaged in several of these activitites. A ballroom dancing event Friday evening, Tosca at The Met at the Movies (fabulous and you must try this) on Saturday, and a musical Saturday evening. Sunday was the topper. We took a helicopter to Four Peaks Mountain and toured one of the finest (certainly the hardest to reach ) Amathyst mines in the world. The pictures below say it all.
Boarding Helicopter for Four Peaks Mine
Entering the Mine (From L-R; Doc, John, Garrett, Bev and Donna in front)
John Having Fun, Hard Hat and All
We got to keep the minerals we mined and the people at Sami’s Fine Jewelry will process, cut and polish the best of our stones and give it to us. Bev had some pretty huge rocks so maybe we’ll retire soon.
Finally, Just in case you are thinking this was looking like lots of work and very little fun check out the picture below.
John & Bev
You have no doubt heard the saying about all work and no play making John a dull boy. Learn to have fun again and the work and play will make us all better leaders. Besides, it makes for Unforgettable Weekends filled with Unforgettable Experiences.
One of the hazards of these challenging times is that we are seeing a significant upswing in micro-management. There are three problems with this.
First, if you absolutely feel you must micro-manage then you really have more of a talent problem than a management problem. Jim Collins, Author of Good to Great, recently said, “The right people don’t need to be managed. If you need to tightly manage someone, you’ve made a hiring mistake.” Instead of micro-managing, your time would be much better spent by getting on with the business of either training your people or replacing those that need to be micro-managed.
Second, micro-management is, often, a self-fulfilling prophecy. We think people need to be micro-managed so we do so. By micro-managing we remove all of the fun and creativity from people’s jobs. They settle and stop contributing, giving rise to the need for micro-management. If we would just get out of the way, be specific about expectations and the consequences of not fulfilling on these, people would just do their jobs.
Finally, by micro-managing we create an environment that is simply unattractive to good people. By micro-managing we actually create turnover, costly turnover and not superior results.
Please, share your thoughts on micro-managing by adding a comment below. And, pass this on to a friend.
Sue (name changed to protect the innocent) is responsible for planning and managing the many employee meetings, particularly off-site meetings, for her large company. Recently, her “boss” told her she could not attend a meeting that was her responsibility for “cost cutting reasons”.
I thought she was joking!
Her job is to plan and run the meetings but she could not attend because the company wants to save money. She has a job to do but the “boss” won’t let her do it! I can’t help but wonder how the annual performance review conversation will go. When Sue leaves the company in favor of one that encourages her to actually do her job well I wonder what the “boss” will say then?
My guess is she/he will not much care. His/her commitment is to “get through” the next year or so rather than contributing to the company by allowing the developing leaders to actually lead.
Perhaps the “boss” could have said to Sue, “you know we have challenges during this economy. So, please use your best judgment on which of your meetings require your attendance and which do not.” How difficult would that be? The “boss” allows Sue to apply leadership thinking, Sue learns about making tough decisions and perhaps even delegating to others. Instead of wanting to leave, Sue gets inspired, engaged and involved while the company saves money by Sue not attending certain meetings.
How many “bosses” are just doing what they are told and loosing aspiring leaders in the process? Are there any companies out there that are actually developing leaders rather than just talking about it?
Nido Qubein has been a friend and business coach for John and me. He has a strong vision of leadership. Nido came to this country at 17 years old, with $50 bucks and unable to speak English. He is now a multi-millionaire. He is a sensitive and insightful leader who creates success in every project he takes on.
The following quotes are extracted from his book Stairway To Success. I hope you’ll find inspiration in his words:
• You cannot give that which you do not possess.
• Relationships break down when there is a preoccupation with self.
• Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people.
• The practical side of dreaming is being willing to pay the price to make those dreams come true.
• If you work only on days you feel like working, you’ll never amount to much.
• Are you a thermometer or a thermostat? A thermometer only reflects the temperature of its environment, adjusting to the situation. But a thermostat initiates action to change the temperature in its environment.
• Those with a strong self-image realize that the only way to keep from making mistakes is to do nothing — and that’s the biggest mistake of all.
• The process of growing and learning always involves risk. No one ever becomes perfect; but anyone can improve.
• Whether you are a success or failure in life has little to do with your circumstances; it has much more to do with your attitude.
• If you could view your life as you do a highway from an airliner, many of the detours and curves would make more sense.
• The practical dreamers know the harder they work, the luckier they get.
• No failure, misfortune, or mistake is ever so great that nothing good can come from it.
• Only when your memories are more important to you than your goals are
you old.
• Fixing the blame is never important, and fixing the relationship is never unimportant.
• You can’t think your way into acting positively; but you can act your way into thinking positively.
• People who are looking for something to make them happy, somehow never seem to find it. Yet those who find a way to be happy while they are looking for something, typically find what they are looking for.
• What matters is not so much how you got to be the way you are now, but what you do with the person you have become.
• A strong awareness that you are loved by God provides the most solid foundation for building high
self-esteem.
• Your best bet for a good job is to do the best you can with the one you have right now.
• Those who spend their lives searching for happiness never find it, while those who search for meaning, purpose, and strong personal relationships find that happiness usually comes to them as a by-product of those three things.
Dr. Nido R. Qubein is president of High Point University and
chairman of Great Harvest Bread Company.
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