Understanding Emotional Intelligence

The emotions with the most potential to cause negative upset in the workplace are anger and fear. When feelings are intense, it’s almost as if the brain is being held hostage by the overpowering emotions. Strong feelings like fear, anger and anxiety impair the ability to think rationally. We get ‘out of sync’ with ourselves. The brain is wired to be on alert for any kind of threat, whether real or imagined. Anger and fear activate that so often heard about “flight or fight or freeze” reaction and it commonly takes as much as four hours for the body to return to normal, for the brain to get engaged again and for the person to be productive once again.

Here’s an illustration. Have you had a police car speeding up behind you with the siren blasting. What happens? I know for me my heart beats hard, my hands get sweaty and fear takes over my thinking. If I were able to logically look at the situation, I would realize that the cop wasn’t after me but that doesn’t happen. My body is taken over by the fear and my thinking ability becomes second fiddle to my emotions.

It is essential to build and emotionally intelligent organization to keep productivity and engagement high. So how do you start?

Leaders have to model emotional awareness – because of their reach and power to influence others, leaders who talk about emotions and practice emotional awareness in the workplace can transform the way teams collaborate. When they provide an environment that supports learning and self-correction, others will follow (it’s contagious) and performance will improve.

Respect privacy- Crucial to the success of raising the emotional intelligence understanding is communicating in a safe and affirming manner. The key is to deliver feedback to employees in an atmosphere that respects their privacy.

Offer training – Team training needs to give work groups a common language and shared understanding of what it takes to create and maintain an emotionally healthy environment

When stress goes down, creativity, productivity and morale goes up. Employees simply appreciate the employer who is committed to creating an environment where everyone can thrive. Read more…..Controlling Emotions in the Workplace.

Check out the Contagious Leaders Coaching Club, an online leadership development system that cultivates a vibrant and sustainable leadership culture. It promotes a unifying language and crucial leadership habits that maximize performance. Go to http://www.contagiousleaders.com/demo

Be Well & Be Contagious

Bev

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Many employees are feeling ignored, under valued and under appreciated. There is no big surprise here. Over the past three years many executives have systematically pulled in the reins, focused on survival and left themselves precious little time for engaging with our most important asset — our people.

At the end of the day that activity, engaging with employees, may well be the most important leadership activity of all. Yet, in our busyness we just don’t get around to it. Here is a coaching tip for handling our most important job responsibility.

1. Engage with 1 employee every day. Make it a priority. Schedule it. Ron Johnson, Senior Vice President of Apple and the chief architect of Apple’s outrageously successful retail operation makes it a habit to speak with one store manager everyday during his early morning exercise program.

2. Set everything else aside, be present to the conversation and be sure to practice listening.

3. Have a real 2-3 minute conversation.

4. At the end of the conversation recap what you heard the employee say and how much you appreciate them.

At the end of the month notice how great you feel, how happy your employees are and how energized they have become.

Be Well & Be Contagious,

John & Bev

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Here’s a passage from Today We Are Rich just released by author Tim Sanders on how to use words that will project confidence – a key to leading others.

“Stop using tentative words; they hedge conversation to the point of being meaningless. The unconfident person talks with qualifiers and commits to very little. Tentative words include maybe, perhaps, might, somehow, allegedly, no offense, just saying, should, ……, and so on.

“If you want to project confidence, say what you believe, and say it directly. You’ll find that once the namby-pamby words are gone, confident statements remain.

Bev and John

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Several weeks ago we spoke to a group of realtors about using Social Media to build their business. We shot a video using a Flip Video Camera, uploaded it to YouTube and to a Landing Page on our website and sent an email to prospects inviting them (the realtors) to view the video and attend our meeting. We expected them to show up with great excitement.

They showed up.

During our talk the look on their faces was more “deer in the headlights” than “excitement.” In a world that is demanding that we change at an ever increasing pace or simply die a very slow and painful death, these folks were choosing death. Most of them appeared to want change as long as everything remained the same.

Following the meeting one of the realtors told us about an agent who was criticized by his broker for “fiddle fooling around with his computer on all this social media stuff.” “Fiddle fooling around?” C’mon. So, what did the guy do? He left the company and is now killing his business through social media connections. “Fiddle fooling around!” Now, there is an enlightened broker who needs to update his internal conversation.

Speaking of updating the conversation, who among us doesn’t need a reboot now and then. So, here is our suggestion. Conduct your very own WIDA Test (pronounced “wee-dah”) Test.  It stands for “What I DO Audit.” It’s simple.

1.  Sit down and make a list of all the things you do during the course of a day.

2.  Pick three of the activities that need updating

3.  Narrow your WIDA list to one

4.  Give yourself 30 days to update the activity.

a.  This may include getting rid of the activity completely. Or, like the “enlightened broker” it may mean selecting one of the social media and getting started with it and posting everyday for 30 days.

b.  It could also mean changing the way you currently do that activity. Sometimes we get so emotionally invested in what we do and the way we do those things that change becomes an excruciating experience. So, make a little change for 30 days.

Take it from someone who has been highly resistant to change. You can change, you can change with more frequency, and you can change with less angst. It just takes practice. In the end, it’s better than dying.

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Customer Reaction to Our Sales Calls

Leaders normally learn leadership development, communication, and sales rules, principles, and techniques during training or while reading a few leadership books.

There are as many rules as people to declare them, and under this scenario, I wonder… which of all the rules are the best?  Well, probably none, so you do yourself a great favor and ignore them.

Yes, the truth is that everything is a lot simpler than you think.

I am a leadership speaker and coach, and have discovered through personal experience, how simple selling is when you forget about the rules.

The reality is that every leader is in sales.  We leaders are trying to sell something to someone every single day, all day long.  To our kids, we sell the idea of doing well at school; to our colleagues, we sell projects that are meaningful to us.

Through a lot of the observation and coaching experience, I have discovered that the traditional sales process only gets people to wish they could yell, “Pleeeeaseeee! Stop selling to me and let me buy!!!!”

Their faces say it all, because no one likes to be sold, no one.  So, let’s stop selling!

Yep, you read right, we have to stop selling, because when it comes to leadership, communication and selling, we have been completely deceived.

Our general notion is that we have to convince and persuade.  We have been deceived.

We have been told that great sales people follow certain rules, that there are crucial principles and techniques we must learn, and we have even been given scripts to follow.

According to the rules, we have to take control early on in every sales conversation; we must qualify every prospect, isolate objections, close, isolate, and close again.  We have been deceived.

The truth is that to be a great leader in sales you must be a great communicator, and to be one, you must stop selling.  Why?  Well, simply because PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO BE SOLD.

Analyze the difference between these two activities:

-      When people buy, THEY are in control.  Being in control feels great; THEY have the power.

-      When we sell, people are pushed to agree to being sold something.  People don’t like being pushed; it is uncomfortable and they feel vulnerable.

In view of this, the best way to sell something is not selling it; it is slowing down so that you can listen to what people have to say about what THEY want, and after listening, repeat what they said back to them so that they know you heard them.

If you consider that almost no one listens to others nowadays, when someone does, people feel special, and the barriers for great communication come down.

We have been deceived about leadership, communication and sales.  The secret is to simply begin with someone other than ourselves in mind… Instead of selling, help people buy.

A GIFT FOR YOU-

Beverly and I are about ready to re-launch our eBook More Sales, Less Selling with updated information on using social media. The book is an entertaining, easy read with practical, proven and effective techniques. To get 2 FREE chapters just complete the form below and submit.

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A good leader knows how difficult, in terms of money and time, it is to revive a dead customer or to get a new one out of a cold list, and a good leadership speaker and coach will tell you the value of a lifetime customer in terms of cash and referrals.

A true leader knows that the key to save money is to sell more to current clients, to the point that the salesperson becomes a part of the client’s team.  Yep!  This kind of positioning is priceless.

So, here we give you 5 tips to sell more to your current clients:

Slow down

Stop to evaluate and make sure you have done the best for your client and that you have earned the right to ask for referrals.

 Get informed

Get as much information as possible about their referral style, if it is aggressive, fast-paced, optimistic, or detail oriented; and learn all you can about their business and their challenges.

Ask

Ask for referrals from key persons and from personal contacts in other departments. 

Make a connection

Find a way to make an emotional connection with your client.  Aim to make friends with them, and for this, forget about emails, voicemail, or direct mail. 

You have to be there, it takes time and effort, but it is worth it.

People prefer to do business with friends, and true friends stick for life, even when the going gets tough.

Communicate regularly

Design a communication model to stay in touch regularly; one that builds top of mind awareness and that portrays you as much more than a salesperson. 

Get in touch at least every 6 weeks, make it short, sweet, benefit driven, and if possible, with an emotional trigger.  For example:

-      Help them learn more

Create white papers, tip sheets, quick columns, or FAQ sheets to help your clients understand what you offer.

 -      Use a quote

Send an appropriate and inspiring quote to your clients and write a few words on it.

-      Clip and send

Make it a habit to clip and send an article, cartoon or quote from any written source you read, or find something on the web that may help or interest your clients.  Send it to them explaining why you thought of them when you read it. 

-      Books

Choose the right book for your client and write a note on the first page.  Identify with a sticky note any special sections you find.

-      Call them

It is always nice to receive a warm greeting call.

-      Feel good things

Tell your clients about a success story related to your product or service that may inspire them.

And always remember to think of your customers as long time friends.

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It is amazing how much energy we spend in criticizing and whining about our bosses. 

So much so that by judging by the large percentage of posts on the web, one would bet that every boss out there is an idiot, a dysfunctional jerk, an out-of-touch loser, or simply craps.

Of course we understand that the only way to improve someone’s management and behavior is to observe what that person is doing wrong; however, the majority of posts and comments are written in such a way that confirms their only goal is to whine, very much like a child complaining about how mean dad or mom are without actually grasping the point.   

Well, it is about time for all of us to grasp this:

If you behave like a victim, bathed in self-pity, or act as if you deserve better, you are in for something bad, and you may end up getting fired or seriously harming your career.

In order to avoid this creepy scenario, here’s a lousy boss’s reality check:

-      Confront your boss face to face and you will lose

No matter how mistaken your boss is and how bad he may look in a given situation, he can, and probably will, fire you if you challenge him directly.

-      You do have a choice, make it

This is a free country, and if you don’t agree with your boss’s character, you can quit.

“But, I love my job and most importantly, I need it!”… Ahhh!  Then, put your pride aside and exercise your patience.

It is your choice. 

Equally, you can go over your boss to HR, but it may end badly for you.  Remember that your boss may be highly respected in the company.

-      What if the problem is you?

Have you observed your behavior towards your job and boss? 

Maybe your boss has a lot to say about your attitude and performance too, because if something is certain in the business world, it is that lousy employees are out there in the millions.

So, observe yourself and your actions at work before acting emotionally.  Remember that when something about someone else bothers you deeply it is because that something lives inside you as well.

-      There are only so many bridges one can burn

When you’re young, you don’t consider that the choices you make and your behavior will follow you later. 

If you burn all your bridges, at some point you won’t be able to cross anywhere.  Sure, you will have no boss, but also no job!

What’s the point then?  The point is you DON’T go against a lousy boss. 

Of course all of us, even the best leadership speaker and coach, have had crappy bosses, and we understand what an employee who is exposed to such a boss feels like, but this is no excuse for acting without a clear perspective, because it can only get worse for you.

If it gets truly unbearable, exercise your right to choose, and quit.

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Success nowadays requires that you take positive steps every single day to make your dreams a reality, and in this regard, contagious leaders are the experts.

Here are the 6 actions that will make you succeed in tough times, following the example of the best contagious leaders:

Love the ones around you
In the struggle to survive tough times, too many people neglect their employees and current customers, making them feel abandoned, confused, and afraid about their future, when in reality they should love them more than ever.

If you want to bloom in tough times, open the lines of communication with your people like you haven’t done before, because your people may be the only reason you succeed. So, acknowledge them, reward them, and thank them for being loyal, for understanding, and for being committed.

In the same way, many businesses set to find new customers while neglecting their current ones, making them feel like a pebble in their shoe. It is amazing to see how these companies are blind to the fact that when customers feel loved they bring many more customers on board.

Focus
In tough times, you must stop doing what you used to do to succeed, and must start analyzing every strategy and every activity you used in the past.

Thoroughly study everything you do every day and the return it produces, and then focus on the top 20% of activities that create impact and income.

If you need help to focus, consider talking to a good leadership speaker and consultant.

Develop your network and build your net worth
Quality relationships add value and confidence to your company.

It is normal during tough times to crouch, to play it safe, to spend less, to do less, and to be more careful; however, contagious leaders see hard times as an opportunity to expand their network and build their networth; these leaders become a SAGE:

-Seek out people. They go out and meet people, they go online and are active every day in sites like Facebook or LinkedIn, and they interact with people who think alike all over the world.

-Ask questions. They ask quality questions and focus on the other person, not on themselves.

-Get Involved. They are curious about others; they keep the conversation centered on the other person by getting involved in his or her life’s story.

-Enrich lives. People don’t care what you know until they know you care.

Be unforgettable
To be unforgettable you must be distinctive and indispensable in everything you do, this is, you have to stand out and be valuable in everything you do.

When you’re unforgettable, your work and financial security multiplies and your competitive advantage magnifies. When you’re ordinary, you’re destined to fail.

To be unforgettable:

-Analyze what others are doing and do the opposite.

-Become an expert in something.

-Put yourself in a place where you can look at things from a different perspective, forget about what you do and how you do it. Look at how others have become unforgettable.

-Acknowledge the good work and efforts others do. There is no better and more inexpensive way to motivate people.

Surround yourself with optimism
Remember what Oscar Wilde said:

“Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

Each employee chooses if he or she wants to be a giver or a taker; ensure your company has more givers than takers.

Stop feeding fear
Ask yourself: “What am I doing that adds to the fear and confusion caused by this crisis?”

Then:

-Stop doing those things.

-Get clear about your vision for your company and communicate it intensely and frequently.

-Eliminate as much drama as possible from the work place.

-Establish big goals.

-Create an action plan, begin executing, and hold people accountable.

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Each week, we will be highlighting someone we think demonstrates the actions, thoughts and mindset of a Contagious Leader. This week’s spotlight is on Dori Wittrig.

Our Contagious Leader of the week is Dori Wittrig owner of Sonoran Lifestyle Real Estate and a person who knows how to seize opportunity!

Dori had the unexpected good fortune to go out on her own. She had been in real estate with a substantial developers and was quite remarkable in how she packaged properties. Well, when she opened her real estate company in 1991, she packaged it in a robe of excellence and crowned it with the intention of cultivating an attitude of possibility in everything they created.

In the same spirit, when Real estate hit a rocky road, especially in Arizona, she saw the possibility of showcasing foreclosed properties in a big way. Today, the Sonoran Lifestyle over-the-top executive limo bus escorts eager buyers to preview a lineup of foreclosed properties. She saw the possibility and took action and now dominates the market!

If you would like to nominate someone, feel free to send us an email by clicking here, and we would love to consider them! Please tell us a bit about them and what makes them Contagious in their leadership.

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Contagious Leaders Reach Out for Learning!

Each week, we will be highlighting (or “spotlighting”) someone we think demonstrates the actions, thoughts and mindset of a Contagious Leader.  This week’s spotlight is on Jeff Eschliman.

Jeff Eschliman, Director of Construction for Maracay Homes in Scottsdale, Arizona, has been a student of Contagious Leadership since 2005. He recently reached out and asked me to connect with him on LinkedIn. I agreed, mentioning in a return message that I was looking forward to getting to know him better. He took this as a green light and sent me the following email through LinkedIn; “I’d love to buy you lunch some day and get more insights into Contagious Leadership. I just received the book (Creating Contagious Leadership) and I’m looking forward to diving in.” 

That’s initiative!

During our lunch Jeff mentioned he has been practicing Recognize 5, our program for the Habit of Involved Recognition. We immediately invited him to do a video interview that will be shared with other Contagious Leader Coaching Club members.  

Jeff Eschliman is a true Contagious Leader for a number of other reasons: 

1. In an industry that has been hard hit by the economic challenges of recent years, Jeff works at staying positive
2. He continues to build his inventory of talents for the future by practicing the leadership habits he learns.
3. He faithfully practices Recognize 5 week in and week out without expecting accolades from the employees he works with or his superiors.
4. He has recent;y committed to deep and lasting changes in his personal life in the areas of fitness and exercise.  

 Yes, Jeff Eschliman is a true Contagious Leader, our Contagious Leader of the week. He is also our new friend.

If you would like to nominate someone, feel free to send us an email by clicking here, and we would love to consider them!  Please tell us a bit about them and what makes them Contagious in their leadership.

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